George Carlin said it best: Remember how stupid the average guy is? Fifty percent of ’em are even dumber than that…
A few weeks ago, we ran an article highlighting the fact that apparently God really does look after idiots and drunks…even idiots and drunks with guns. We figured that, having done our civic duty, we could rest secure in the knowledge that people who really ought to know better would stop treating their guns as if they were toys. (What can I say? We’re eternally optimistic here at GGD.) Sadly, it appears that our Public Service Announcement failed to reach some corners of the globe, so we’re back again with four more people who just learned that guns aren’t toys…the hard way.
1. Watch out, we’ve got a badass over here.
If there’s anything funnier than a skinny teenager lip-synching to R&B, then it would have to be a skinny teenager lip-synching to R&B using his mother’s gun as a prop. That’s how you know he’s a badass, not just a skinny suburban teen who figured out where Mom hides her heater. Until…
2. I can count to potato
All right, so we’ve established that maybe doing a dance with your mom’s loaded gun isn’t the best idea. What if it’s a potato gun, and your buddy has volunteered to be the target? After all, potatoes don’t have really great ballistics, a potato gun isn’t really a gun, and potatoes are delicious and good for you, too. After all, they’re technically a vegetable…as, I would guess, are both of these guys (at least now).
3. Those are speed holes. They make the car go faster.
“Geez, Trace,” you might be saying, “I don’t see what the problem is here. He’s wearing eye and ear protection, his form isn’t bad, and it looks like he’s got the muzzle pointed in a safe direction.” And you’d be right, if that’s what you were saying, at least about the first two. As for the last point, however, that depends on your definition of “safe direction.” Also on our friend’s warranty…
4. Maybe his captain should get him a fidget spinner or something.
Although nothing will ever top the “I am the only one here qualified to handle this weap-BANG” video from several years back, I have to say that this one will be a satisfying watch for those GGD readers who have recently been pulled over for speeding or running a red light (IT WAS JUST A LITTLE PINK, OFFICER). Some speculation around this video is that the officer is attempting to reload his firearm, but that’s not what it looks like to me. The video is a bit grainy, but he doesn’t really seem to be manipulating the magazine or the slide. Honestly, it looks like he’s just…fiddling with it.
This has been a public service announcement from your friends at Guns & Gadgets Daily! We hope you’ll kindly share it on your FaceySpace pages, so all your friends will get the word, too.
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.