VA Gov. Northam: The Little Gun-Banner Who Couldn’t

What do you do when you’re a “liberal,” but there’s a picture of you in blackface?

Let us consider Virginia Governor Ralph Northam, a Democrat who was elected by the increasingly-blue parts of Northern Virginia that outnumber the rural (and very conservative) rest of the state. A few months ago, it came to light that Gov. Northam’s educational adventures included a yearbook photograph of himself in blackface–posed, no less, next to a person wearing a KKK hood. That’s the sort of thing that tends to undermine one’s cred as a social justice warrior, and there was talk of his resignation. What to do? Governor Northam seems to have realized that this evidence that he doesn’t like Black people much would be best refuted by proving that he hates the Second Amendment even more.

His big chance came when some booger-gobbler shot up an office in Virginia Beach using two handguns, one with a suppressor on it. So, with all the perspicacity of a brain-damaged dung beetle, Gov. Northam began doing his best to revoke as many 2A freedoms as he could. There was only one problem…he’s not any better at anti-gun propaganda than he is at selecting a racially inoffensive Halloween costume.

Let’s start by reviewing Northam’s steaming pile of ideas. According to this article, they are as follows:

The governor proposes universal background checks; banning “assault weapons;” limiting the capacity of gun magazines; banning suppressors and bump stocks for assault weapons; establishing an extreme risk protective order initiated by law enforcement that would temporarily deny an individual’s access to guns; reinstating a law to limit handgun purchases to one per month; preventing children’s access to firearms until age 18; requiring people to report lost and stolen firearms; and expanding local authority to regulate firearms, including inside government buildings.

This is, of course, a boring anti-gun wishlist that we’ve all been rolling our eyes at for decades. What’s interesting about it is, of course, that none of his unconstitutional ideas would have prevented the tragedy. The shooter’s guns and suppressor had been purchased legally–the suppressor requiring about six months’ worth of background checks, fingerprinting, and other red tape. So when Gov. Northam took his anti-gun show on the road, he ran into a little bit of a stumbling block: his constituency.

By June 18, he was getting an earful at local town halls. It wasn’t just the everyday voters who were telling him that his ideas were stupid and would do nothing to help solve the root problems of mass violence; local law enforcement dismissed Northam’s “plan” as well. Protested Abingdon Police Chief Tony Sullivan, “Report after report after report says it’s the psychotropic medication that is causing this action [killing]. At some point, we’ve got to realize the enormity. It’s the people we’re medicating. We’ve got to solve that.”

Poor, poor Gov. Northam! It just got sadder when, three days later, he slimed his way over to the Virginia Boys State Session, to try out his luck with some kids. Things, uh, didn’t really go well for him there.

In fact, he sort of got owned by a bunch of 17-year-olds, who challenged him about his anti-gun proposals, asking him why he thought they would have helped at all. And then, the magic happened. Here’s the relevant quote from this article:

Northam conceded that his proposals wouldn’t have necessarily prevented the Virginia Beach shooting. But he said the legislation his administration has backed would have helped.

Of course, we all know that every last one of the gun-banners in Congress and state legislatures know perfectly well that none of their proposals or laws will make a dent in criminal behavior, because that’s sort of the definition of criminal behavior. But this is the first time I’ve ever heard of one openly admitting it, which tells me that maybe Gov. Northam missed the memo…along with the one about whether or not it’s okay for white people to wear blackface.

And then, we come to Gov. Northam’s rally outside the national headquarters of the NRA. It was to be his finest moment, a nice photo op with the looming blue mirrored glass of NRA HQ behind him, surrounded by crowds of admirers. All 18 of them. (You really must click the linked article at the beginning of this paragraph; the picture is nothing short of hilarious.)

Governor Northam: The little gun-banner who couldn’t. He’s sure going to try, though, so prepare for much more entertainment in the months ahead.

Trace Munson

Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he's a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.

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