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You know, it’s really nice to see the next generation of gun-grabbers working to surpass Carolyn “Shoulder Thing That Goes Up” McCarthy and Dianne “Mr. and Mrs. America, Turn Them All In” Feinstein. Beto O’Rourke may currently be in the Democrats’ doghouse for prematurely revealing their gun-grabbing plans, but he’s definitely making life easier for me and everyone else who enjoys roasting gun grabbers. His “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47s” is a real classic, and I’m looking forward to repeating it at every opportunity for the next, oh, 20 years or so. It’s also been a real boon for the true unsung heroes among us…the meme-makers. Today, I’d like to highlight the best Beta O’Dork memes we’ve seen…this week.
1. Hey, I resemble that remark
I know, I know: Why taint an awesome movie like Tombstone by associating it with this walking Adam’s Apple of a man? Well, because it’s funny, that’s why. And because Beto is a dingleberry.
2. I bet the FBI is sick of this one…
Did you know that, shortly after Beto made his “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15” campaign promise, a fellow lawmaker called him out? Briscoe Cain, a Republican lawmaker from Texas, replied to that comment with the following: “My AR is ready for you Robert Francis.” (Robert Francis is the name Beto’s mother gave him at birth, before O’Rourke decided to start pretending he’s Hispanic.) Beto, being the manly man that he is, immediately phoned the FBI to report it as a death threat. One wonders if he thinks all such “Molon Labe” statements are personal threats to his health. (I hope so, because that would make entering our MOLON LABE Giveaway much more fun for all of us.)
3. Still, We Can’t Be That Mad At Him…
I love the Photoshopping this image got before someone had a chance to turn it into a (hilarious) meme. We’ve got blurring, cloning, and whatever magic they did to make it look like Beto’s Adam’s Apple doesn’t need its own ZIP code. I bet Beto loves the photo editing, too…but I doubt he loves how many guns he just sold, and will keep selling, long after his political career has gone the way of the Lawn Jart.
4. Yeah, I Might be a Redneck.
It’s not really fair to put a comedian in a meme with a politician. After all, only one of them is good at his job; only one of them is dedicated to improving the daily lives of Americans; only one of them has proven himself worthy of trust. Yeah, it’s really not fair to Beto at all. Next time I’ll try to juxtapose him with a slime mold or something.
5. Beto O’Rourke Has Pee Pants
Once upon a time, the man who would grow up to become Beto O’Rourke was just known as plain ol’ Robert Francis O’Rourke. (Which is great, because there are lots of “Lighten up, Francis” jokes coming down the pike.) Francis was in a (terrible) rock band back in those halcyon days, but clearly he took good care of himself. As you can see from the above photo, taken during his hard-rock period, Francis took great care to keep himself adequately hydrated. Sadly, one day someone bit a pizza slice into the shape of a gun, pointed it at Francis, and said “bang.” The results are above.
What’s your favorite Beta O’ Dork meme? Post it in the comments!
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.