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A very wise man once said, “There’s dumb, damn dumb, and this list of videos that’s about to follow.”
That very wise man was me, and he said it just now. I’m feeling pretty good about my own intelligence, you see, because I just took a walk down Memory Lane with these seven classic videos featuring the worst gun-handling ideas of all YouTube time. Every one of these videos is guaranteed to transform you into a 15-year-old girl, sputtering, “Wow, just…what? I can’t…even.” (Unless, of course, you happen to be a 15-year-old girl, in which case you’ll transform into me and say, “Hold my beer.”)
1) AR-15s Are Bad, Mmkay?
To paraphrase Beetlejuice, I’ve seen this one about 167 times, and it just! Keeps! Getting! Funnier! Every! Single! Time! How can one news station pack so much suck and fail into one 30-second clip? It’s a thing of beauty.
2) Hangfire Ain’t Just a Rolling Stones Tune:
If you can get through this one without puckering so hard your next BM comes out in diamond form, you’re made of stronger stuff than I am. (LeVian, call me!)
3) Pride Goeth Before a Fall, Glock 40 Edition
Quick, can you finish this sentence? “I’m the only one in this room professional enough to handle this…”
4) Both-Barrels Biden
Ever wished there was such a thing as a reality TV show in which Joe Biden, wearing a beer helmet, travels the country getting in adventures? Me, too. In the meantime, this golden self-defense advice from our former Veep will just have to suffice.
5) The Circular Firing Squad
I’m pretty sure this entire video is just a time-traveling “Polack” joke that my great-grandpa used to tell. At least, that’s what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.
6) .577 Tyrannosaur goes Jurassic
In honor of the Jurassic Park movie franchise, we present the following. Tyrannosaurs, uh, find a way…
7) G-Man Has Moves Like Jagger:
Two words: RETENTION HOLSTER.
Do you need a palate cleanser after all that? We do, so here’s Jerry Miculek breaking two world speed-shooting records with a revolver like it ain’t no thang:
What are your all-time favorite gun-fail videos? Tell us in the comments!
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.