There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is…the Dumbass Zone.
One of my favorite things about anti-gunners is that they’re an endless source of hilarity…that is, of course, as long as you put out of your mind that these people are in positions of power, and making decisions that affect their constituents’ lives. Still, in the interest of keeping our blood pressure out of the red zone, let’s take a step back and simply marvel at the shining, gemlike stupidity on display in the three dumbest things anti-gunners said (this week).
1. Kirsten Gillibrand
It’s been a hot minute since Kirsten Gillibrand lied her way into an NRA “A” rating and then promptly got herself flunked back down to an “F,” so you can be forgiven if you’ve forgotten her. But apparently she’s decided to run for President in 2020, and that means that she’s got to work hard to make herself stand out from the field of anti-gun idiots who share that “D” after her name. Towards that end, she recently attended a CNN Town Hall, during which she announced the following: “They want to oppose universal background checks because they want to sell an assault rifle to a teenager in a Walmart or to someone on the terror watch list or to someone whose gravely mentally ill with a violent background or to someone with a criminal conviction for a violent crime. They want to sell those weapons, that is why they oppose universal background checks.”
Never mind that people who have been adjudicated mentally unfit, people under the age of 18 (and now 21 in some states), and people convicted of violent felonies are not permitted to purchase or own firearms. Never mind that doing so is a felony, and that it’s a felony whether the ineligible person passed a background check or not. The real doozy came right before that quote above: “It’s about the NRA and its greed.” So…she doesn’t know that the NRA doesn’t sell guns? She doesn’t know that the NRA represents gun owners, not manufacturers (that’s the NSSF)? But she does know what’s best for us, so I feel better! Don’t you?
2. Eric Swalwell
Good ol’ Swallows has been a favorite here at GGD for a while, and I think we’re going to see more great things from him in the future. Are we quite in “shoulder thing that goes up” territory yet? No, but I’ve got to say that I got a good, loud chortle out of this one:
Ah, yes, that does sound so much nicer than “forcible confiscation,” doesn’t it? And it’s true that being paid is better than not being paid. But…Swalwell…you still haven’t managed to articulate what an “assault weapon” even is, let alone on what legal grounds you intend to ban them. Or where the money’s coming from. But he does know what he’d like to do if he doesn’t get compliance…
3. Corey O’Connor
About 20 years ago, the city of Pittsburgh attempted to “regulate” AR-15s and their variants. There was just one small problem with this: It wasn’t actually legal per the Pennsylvania constitution to do so. Laws related to gun ownership in Pennsylvania have to go through the commonwealth’s legislature; individual districts can’t make those kinds of laws. Those “regulation” attempts were swiftly overturned, Pittsburgh started seeing gun-show business from the likes of the NRA and CCRKBA, and all seemed well.
Then, some mouth-breather decided to shoot up a Pittsburgh synagogue. And just a few months later, Pittsburgh Councilman O’Connor lifted a cheek, lit a fart, and realized he’d just had the closest thing he’d ever experience to a bright idea. I know, he thought, if we can’t ban the ownership of guns, we’ll just ban the use of them! Because apparently he thought using an AR-15 to shoot up a house of worship had been perfectly legal up to that point, or something?
The NRA has already filed suit, and it’s highly unlikely this legislation will stand, let alone ever be enforced. Which makes all of the above even funnier…as long as you don’t live in Pittsburgh.
Which up-and-coming anti-gunner would you like to nominate for permanent residence in the Dumbass Zone? Tell us in the comments!
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.