BREAKING: Kamala Harris Is a Total Glock-Hound

Who would have guessed that Kamala’s a master of the ol’ Glock Tuah?

It may have come as a shock to some of us to hear Kamala Harris say out loud that she loves Glocks. After all, that’s the sort of thing that most of us just quietly leave in our bedside table and enjoy in the privacy of our own homes. But for those in the know, Kamala’s keen way around a Glock has been an open secret (and the stuff of legend) for decades. In a mid-September interview with Oprah Winfrey, followed by an interview with 60 Minutes, Kamala opened wide let the truth dribble slowly out: She’s a total Glock-hound.

There’s no shame in that. Lots of people find satisfaction and career advancement by keeping their favorite Glock lovingly holstered and warm. Others prefer to rock out with their Glocks out. We here at Guns & Gadgets Daily will never shame consenting adults for their Glock worship (as long as they’re good-looking and we get to watch). The trouble is that Kamala seems to want to keep all those Glocks to herself.

Remember 2005? If not, here’s the quick and dirty: When Harris was San Francisco district attorney, she decided that Willie Brown’s Glock just wasn’t enough for her. She needed to get her hands around all the Glocks. So the now-vice president was listed as a sponsor of Proposition H, which was a ballot measure that sought to ban the possession of ALL handguns in the city.

By the by, that bill had the perfect name to describe the best solution for Kamala’s Second Amendment views. It’s obvious that all those Glocks left Kamala itching for relief, and burning with desire for more. Still, although Preparation H did squeak by, it was unconstitutional and was thrown out later by the courts.

Still, we have so many questions. Who’s Kam-Kam’s favorite Glock owner? Does Doug Emhoff still let her hold his Glock sometimes, or is it on permanent loan to the nanny? What is her favorite Glock holster, and what would it take to get her to keep it shut? Does she lovingly clean those Glocks herself, carefully laving them with lubricant and massaging them to oiled perfection?

What we do know is that, at some point, Harris had a bit of a crisis around her love of Glock. A lover’s quarrel, perhaps? According to the NRA’s Institute of Legislative Action:

“In September 2023, President Joe Biden took a step to institutionalize the anti-gun advocacy complex within the executive branch of the federal government by creating the “White House Office of Gun Violence Prevention.” Biden put Harris in charge of this gun control effort. The White House website for the outfit states, “The Office of Gun Violence Prevention is overseen by Vice President Harris.”

On March 19, the city of Chicago filed suit against handgun manufacturer Glock. Seeking to shift responsibility for the city’s woeful governance, Chicago’s lawsuit blamed the popular firearm manufacturer for the third-party criminal misuse of its products. Specifically, Chicago tried to hold Glock liable for the fact that criminals use illegal devices (auto sears or so-called “Glock switches”) to illegally modify Glock pistols into illegal machine guns. The suit sought to force Glock to alter the design of its celebrated pistols and asked the court to enjoin the sale of Glock pistols to Chicago residents.”

A little relationship advice, Kamala: If you love something, set it free. We know how badly you need to keep all those Glocks to yourself, but it’s not fair to the rest of us.

Penis.