How I Bought a Freakin’ Cannon on Facebook Marketplace

This caisson goes rolling along (and it’s freakin’ sweet)!

Love it or hate it, Facebook Marketplace has emerged as one of the most popular platforms for buying and selling items locally.

With millions of users, it offers a vast array of products, from furniture and electronics to clothing and collectibles … including great deals on outdoor and defensive products like gently used holsters (how many holsters have you worn once, decided didn’t work for you, and stuck in a drawer?) and more. And by “more,” I mean, “a freakin’ cannon.” But I’m getting ahead of myself, because, as with any online marketplace, the rule is always “caveat emptor,” or “buyer beware.” Blindly jumping head-first into a Facebook sale is a good way to get scammed, hurt or even killed.

If It Looks Too Good To Be True, It Probably Is.

I don’t know how many practically brand-new UTV vehicles I’ve seen on the Facey-Placey that are listed for a couple thousand. A 10-year-old vehicle that’s been rode hard and put up wet can be found at a lower price like that. But late-model versions can cost as much as a car. Seeing one for so much less triggers my “common sense”-dar, which is like radar, only it goes “duh” instead of “beep.” Scammers are trying to get you to impulsively jump in and put a deposit down to hold the item. Don’t fall for it: Slow down and do some due diligence!

Research the Seller

Before you commit to any purchase, take the time to research the seller. This can be as easy as profile verification. Always check the seller’s Facebook profile. Look for a profile picture, friends, and activity history. A newly created account with little to no activity may be a red flag. Does the profile look legit, with friends and family? Is there a lot of interaction with other active accounts? Does the profile have posts that look like a real person would make them? Think about how you and your friends use Facebook … mine is full of food, my dogs and all of the awesome stuff I do (like BUYING A FREAKIN’ CANNON).

Reviews and Ratings

If the seller has a business page or has sold items before, look for reviews or ratings from previous buyers. Positive feedback can indicate reliability. Facebook will reward sellers with marketplace badges that will give you sort of a history of the seller. Look at other items they’ve sold … do those other items look legit? For example, the holster you are looking at may look like a reasonable deal, but the seller is also selling another item like a work truck with a license plate from another state or even country. If things don’t add up, that would be a red flag.

Communicate Clearly

Effective communication with the seller can help you gauge their reliability. Try not to use the pre-set marketplace responses. Instead, type in a real question about the product.

As for my recent FREAKIN’ CANNON, I asked specifics on the cannon that someone who really owns one would know, including asking the wrong thing to see if they would correct me.

“Can you tell me more about the smokeless powder cannon? Do you have accessories like the ram rod? What caliber is it and what can it shoot, or is it strictly blanks?”

The seller answered in a timely fashion and indeed corrected me that it was black powder, 2 1/4th bore shooting 2-pound lead balls or billiard balls. He had a small Caisson box with a smelter and molds. His answer was perfect, and he gave me all the information I needed to know. After that, I asked if we could move the conversation to phone texting. I like doing this because you can gauge for hesitation. It’s also another way of seeing of the seller is legit. Be cautious of vague responses. If a seller is evasive or refuses to provide additional information, it may be best to look elsewhere.

Choose Safe Payment Methods

Never ever pay ahead of time, this is the biggest red flag! Be wary of advance payments. If a seller requests payment to “hold the item” before you’ve had a chance to inspect it, be cautious. This is a common tactic used by scammers.

Selecting the right payment method is crucial for a secure transaction and should be part of the negotiation process. Avoid cash payments—while cash is often the easiest method for in-person transactions, it can be risky. Instead, consider using secure payment platforms like PayPal, Venmo, Apple Pay, or cash app, some of which even offer buyer protection. Everyone uses some form of electronic payments now, and it’s a possible red flag if the seller won’t.

That said, some sellers will give you a discount for cash. Furthermore, if Uncle Sam doesn’t need to know everything about your business, then cash is king. If you choose to use cash, see the next paragraph.

The Meet Up

One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to take a friend with you. Yeah, maybe you’re 10 feet tall and bulletproof, but who needs hassle? There’s safety and deterrent in numbers, especially if you are going to pay with a big wad of cash. Part of the negotiation should include the meeting location. Did you know many police departments offer their parking lots as exchanging locations? Even a well-lit or busy location such as a coffee shop or mall can serve a neutral safer area to conduct business.

Even if you take a friend (but especially if you don’t), make sure to communicate your intentions to someone. Provide your timeline of when the meet-up is, where the meet is, and when you should be done. Send them all of the information like the seller’s name, FB profile, and phone number. Finally, trust your gut. If something feels even a little off during the process, trust your gut and walk away.

Inspect the Item

If possible, inspect the item in person before making a payment. Make sure it matches the description provided in the listing. If the package is sealed, you really should open it. There was a local store where scammers shrink-wrapped iPhone and iPad boxes that looked brand-new. The buyer gave the money and the seller left before the unboxing … which revealed junk that weighed the package down. If you are not allowed to inspect the item, beware.

Follow Up

After your purchase, it’s a good idea to follow up with the seller and leave feedback. If the transaction went smoothly, consider leaving positive feedback on the seller’s profile. This helps build a trustworthy community and helps others. If there are significant problems with the item, or if you suspect fraudulent activity, report it to Facebook Marketplace. They have mechanisms in place to address such issues.

So, About My Awesome Freakin’ CANNON.

The Facebook algorithm knows what Daddy likes. Each night, it tempts me with great deals on Jeep and Polaris parts or accessories. Imagine my surprise when I spied, with my little eyes, a “Yard Ornament” … oh my, that’s a freakin’ cannon! “$4000 OBO,” says the terse little ad. “It works. Used for reenactments.” And it’s just 75 miles away from me! After following all of the above steps, I am happy to say I am the proud new owner of a sweet artillery piece.

She is a full-size replica of an 1841 Mountain Howitzer blackpowder cannon. These were originally made to be broken down into three main pieces (gun, wheels, and carriage), then packed on horses or mules. Think of it as 19^th-century fast-attack artillery, shoot and scoot. Mine just had a new set of wheels made for it thanks to some Tennessee Amish craftsmen, so it rolls and tracks great. Once of the cool things not advertised in the ad was a collection of newspapers—some dating back to the 80’—showing the owner and friends using the cannon for different reenactments and events. The owner was advancing in age and wanted to see the cannon go to someone who would give it new life.

The cannon is functional as is and will make a great noise maker. There is some older wood on the carriage that will need to be addressed but it is not quite critical. I plan on blasting all of the metal back down to bare and refinishing it like I would any other firearm. For the barrel itself, I think I am going to do black instead of the gold paint. I have molds, a smelter, several pounds of black powder, and most everything to start using her. The hardest part will be finding somewhere I can actually live fire the cannon. The range of the originals was over 1,000 yards! You might enjoy watching the series of my progress with the cannon restoration, so stay tuned for the updates.

—James the “XDMAN” Nicholas Mr. UnPewFessional Himself!