Lubricia’s back…and today, she’s answering reader questions!
Hello, lovers! I’m Lubricia Cosmoline, your hoe-stess of “After Dark.” As a long-time aficionado of everything that goes “bang,” I seek to offer a platform for all of your most intimate, personal experiences in the world of guns and hunting. I’ve seen it all—a .50 BMG can’t go too far for me! Today, I’m answering reader questions…everything you’ve always wanted to know, but been afraid to ask! So sit back, unholster, and get ready for today’s letters…
Why Won’t it Go “Bang”?
Dear Lubricia Cosmoline,
I never thought it would happen to me, but recently I’ve noticed something that’s got me worried. When I was a younger shooter, I never used to have a problem getting my piece to go “bang” (in fact, my problem was getting it to stop!), but now that I’m getting more…experienced, shall we say?…I’ve started to have problems here and there. It’s embarrassing to admit, but sometimes I’ll be 100% ready to let that shot break but then nothing happens. It’s extremely frustrating, and I’m wondering if maybe I’m just getting too old for this. That’s got me bummed, especially since I just got into reloading. What should I do, Lubricia?
Dear Shootin’ Squibs,
Oh, my darling, I’m so glad you’ve written to me. You see, it’s quite common for us to grow and mature as shooters, and the things that used to stimulate us can become quite old-hat. And that, my dear, is probably at the root of your problem. Reloading is a terrific way to open new vistas in the pleasures of shooting, but if you do it wrong you might discover that you’re missing quite a bit of lead from the old pencil. It sounds like the problem isn’t with you per se, but with your loads. They’re probably just not powerful enough to get the job done. So, perhaps it’s best if you take your little problem to a professional! You may need to put in a few range sessions with some “store-bought” (and top-shelf, naturally) just to reassure yourself that there’s nothing wrong with you or your gun…and then you might want to download a reloading manual or two.
He Wants What?!?
Dear Lubricia Cosmoline,
I never thought it would happen to me, but this past hunting season I finally got to go out deer hunting for the first time with my boyfriend! It was a bit of a disappointment, I’ll admit, because we didn’t even get to see any deer–let alone shoot one. The day started out fine in the blind, but it was so cold that my boyfriend suggested we do some still-hunting to warm up. It was weird, Lubricia…he kept saying, “Sweetie, you’ve just got to learn how to pussyfoot,” “Please let me show you how to pussyfoot,” and “Look, if you can’t learn to pussyfoot, this isn’t going to work.” I was practically in tears by the time we went home (not to mention super offended). We’ve never had any conflicts like this before, Lubricia, so can you please tell me what it is he’s asking for and whether I ought to wait until he buys me that Diadem I’ve been eyeing before I do it?
Dear Elephant Walk,
Oh, Babydoll, it sounds like you haven’t exactly been subtle. See, some pursuits are simple and some are hard…and still-hunting difficult quarry (like a reluctant boyfriend) is definitely the latter category. It means that you’re going to have to work a little harder and stretch your limits, but you can do it. It does require a gentle touch, Sugar, and lots of practice, but if you put your mind to it you can pussyfoot right along with the best of us. (Well, not as well as I can, but close.) Instead of stomping those game trails like you’re on a catwalk in five-inch Loubs, take it nice and slow. Each step, kind of slide your foot into the leaf litter before you put your weight on it, so you can feel if there are any branches ready to snap under your boots. You may notice both the deer and your boyfriend respond much better when you’re not being quite so…loud.
Love and other indoor sports,